Q: What are some reasons people gain weight after they get married?
A: Some of the most common reasons behind people gaining weight after they get married include:
- You found your mate – no need to attract them anymore
- You cook creamy, fatty, delicious meals to show that you’re a good wife and cook
- You eat as much as your partner who may be bigger than you
- Popular wedding registry items such as waffle makers and mixers tempt you to try new recipes and create grand meals more so than before you were married
- Meal times become more important and regular
- Your spouse purposely encourages you to eat so that you’re less attractive therefore less competition for him to face
- An unhappy married life; seeking solace in food
- If your spouse gains weight, you most likely will as well – married couples do begin to look alike!
See post Since When Am I Fat?
Q: Who tends to gain more weight – the husband or wife?
A: According to a University of North Carolina study, in the first five years of marriage, men tend to put on more weight:
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Cornell researchers, in conjunction with the National Institutes of Healthy conducted a study on how weight relates to marriage:
“Our findings show that women tend to change weight more in that first year of marriage than men do,” Sobal noted. “Other studies have shown that during the first two years of marriages, husbands and wives tend to exercise less and eat more but only husbands gained weight. Our previously published study showed that married men are fatter and more likely to be obese than never married or previously married men. These differences, however, do not emerge during the first year of marriage.”
Q: How can I let my spouse know that they’ve gained too much weight?
A: Weight gain can be a sensitive issue and must be approached carefully. First of all, your spouse will already know that they’ve put on weight and probably are self-conscious about it. However, if there seems to be no attempts at losing weight on their own, it is time for you to step in and speak up. Approach the subject from a non-confrontational standpoint. Say that YOU want to live a more healthy lifestyle; emphasize health over looks. There is enough pressure to be thin in this society – your spouse doesn’t need to get it from you too. Tell your spouse that you want to be healthy together so that you can have a long life together. Plan a trip and make it a goal to be healthier by that time so that you can enjoy it more together. From there you can clear out the junk food in the house, provide healthier options, and plan times to exercise together.
Don’t be a dictator or pressure your spouse. Instead set an example and give loving encouragement when they do the same. Remember that they are your sweetheart – not your project. Remember all the reasons you love them and tell them! Make them feel good about themselves, especially when there’s the possibility of them thinking you find them unattractive. For a step by step approach visit How to Tell Your Wife (or Husband) It’s Time to Lose Weight.
See post “Does this make me look fat”…yes
See the Video section and watch the video “How to Get Your Partner to Lose Weight.”
Q: I noticed that both of us have put on weight – what are some good ways for us to lose weight together?
A: There are many ways to get in shape and strengthen your marriage at the same time. Below are some examples:
- Avoid evenings on the couch – relax together doing yoga, meditation, or go for a walk together.
- Try new physical activities together on the weekends, you’ll grow together and see each other in different circumstances.
- Take a cooking class together. You’ll get new recipes and improve your skills!
- Set aside plenty of time for some bedroom action – it will increase your intimacy and keep up your heart rate 😉
- Turn off the TV and eat slowly – enjoy your time together! Taking your time will make you more aware of when you are full.
- Indulge each other with cuddles and kisses instead of sweet treats.
See post Regain your frame!
See post Move it to lose it!
Q: Is it shallow that I find my spouse less attractive now that they’ve put on so much weight?
A: There’s nothing wrong with wanting your spouse to look good for you. They will naturally go through an aging process with wrinkles and sagging – all of these effects are natural and involuntary. Your spouse doesn’t have to look red carpet ready every day but basic weight and appearance maintenance isn’t too much to ask. When you find your spouse unattractive it will most likely decrease your sexual desire for him/her. Engage in activities together where you are spending time together and exercising so that you once again build your intimacy towards one another and in turn, your sexual desire for them will increase as well.
See post Gotta keep it sexy!
Q: How common is it for people to put on weight once they get married – is it just me?
A: It’s not just you – otherwise there wouldn’t be this blog! Just google “weight gain in marriage” and you’ll find tons of articles and discussion forums dedicated to the topic.
Scientifically speaking though, evidence shows that once you get married, your chances of becoming obese double.
Q: I’ve gained a few pounds since the wedding – when is it considered “excess” weight gain? At what point is it a health problem?
A: Of course you’ll put on weight as you age but it becomes “excess” once you enter the “overweight” category. The most useful measure of overweight and obesity is the Body Mass Index. BMI is an estimate of body fat and a good gauge of your risk for disease. If your BMI is 25 to 29.9 you are categorized as overweight and 30 to 39.9 is obese. You can calculate your BMI using the BMI calculator.
Q: I know it’s bad to gain weight because it is harmful to your health but I also feel like it’s having an effect on our romantic relationship – is that true or is it all in my head?
A: It is common for weight gain to have an effect on your romantic relationship. The spouse that has gained weight may struggle with self esteem because of their changing figure and have less sexual desire due to their self-consciousness. The spouse that has remained thin may not feel sexually attracted to their spouse and have no desire for intimacy. This can be extremely detrimental to your relationship. The beginning of your relationship was based on attraction and romance – it is vital for the success of your marriage. Openly discuss the issue and brainstorm ways to bring the romance back.
See post I feel fat…
Q: How can I lose weight safely?
A: The faster you lose the weight, the quicker it will come back. The healthiest way to lose weight is through slow changes in diet and exercise, not crash diets or bursts of exercise. Any diet that restricts the kinds of foods you’re allowed to eat will cause you to have cravings and be deficient in certain nutrients; anything is fine in moderation. The best thing to do is to reduce the number of calories taken in and to increase your exercise. Do this slowy – be patient and persevere. This leads to changes in your daily habits and ultimately a lifestyle change.
Q: I feel like my spouse doesn’t support me in my weight loss – what should I do?
A: Have an honest heart-to-heart with your spouse and try to find out the reasons behind their lack of support. It is not uncommon for a spouse to discourage weight loss so that their spouse becomes unattractive to the opposite sex. Try to get them to workout with you so that they feel included in the process and you can bond in the process. Hopefully their trust in you will increase and they will be reassured that no other person could be a threat to your marriage.
nice info program diet.